‘You’re too sensitive’ or ‘You think too much’ are common phrases often heard by highly sensitive persons. Such comments convey the message that sensitivity is not something positive, nor desirable, despite the fact that high sensitivity is associated with numerous strengths, including enhanced creativity, emotional intelligence and attention to detail. Considering, also, that 20 per cent of the population is highly sensitive, according to research by Psychologist Dr Elaine Aron, it’s probably high time we begin to learn more about this largely misunderstood concept.

There are four important elements of high sensitivity:

Depth of processing – information from the environment is processed more deeply than the average person processes information. Therefore, films which are violent or deeply moving may feel too much for the highly sensitive individual.

Overstimulation – this deeper processing can lead to overstimulation. Lights appear too bright, sounds too loud and crowds are often experienced as chaotic and anxiety-provoking.

Emotional intensity – highly sensitive persons feel more and have higher highs and lower lows. Highly sensitive persons also have higher levels of empathy, meaning they often feel the pain of others and can quickly pick up the mood in the room.

Sensory sensitivity – Persons who are highly sensitive have heightened and/or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional or social stimuli. This can result in low tolerance to high levels of sensory input, lower pain threshold and the ability to notice subtle changes in the environment which the average person wouldn’t.

You may be wondering, how do people become highly sensitive? Research has found that high sensitivity is borne from a variety of factors, evolutionary, environmental, genetic and childhood experiences. From an evolutionary perspective, high sensitivity would have been crucial to survival, helping our ancestors spot and avoid predators and other dangers in the environment. This high sensitivity trait is then passed from one generation to another due to its genetic component. Highly sensitive parents are more likely to have a highly sensitive child. Interestingly, children brought up in environments lacking parental warmth and emotional attunement, or who have experienced trauma or abuse, are more likely to develop high sensitivity, carrying it into adulthood.

A number of strengths as well as challenges come with being a highly sensitive person.

Challenges of high sensitivity:

  • Enhanced risk of experiencing anxiety and depression.
  • Difficulty managing high levels of stress or busy, hectic lifestyles.
  • Increased risk of health conditions such as chronic pain and migraine.
  • Difficulty handling sudden changes or having to make quick decisions.
  • Enhanced chance of feeling overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, crowds, open-planned offices, frequent disruptions, etc.
  • Feeling deeply moved by the strong emotions of others can feel very emotionally overwhelming.
  • Prone to overthinking.
  • Picking up subtle changes in mood may cause highly sensitive individuals to think something is wrong when it isn’t.

Advantages of being highly sensitive:

  • Higher levels of emotional intelligence and empathy.
  • Strong attention to detail.
  • Deeper, closer personal relationships.
  • Experience emotions such as joy, excitement and love more deeply.
  • Tendency to be highly creative, due to a richer inner life and experience.
  • Can be highly attuned to the emotions of others and able to pick up changes in mood or atmosphere.
  • Highly empathic and understanding.

Being a highly sensitive person myself, I know only too well that alongside the strengths come daily challenges. For that reason, I’d like to provide some tips on how you can manage your environment in a way that reduces the chances of feeling overwhelmed and distressed. Here goes:

  • Take the time to notice what makes you calm and what doesn’t. You may notice that bright, white light can feel overstimulating, whereas low, warm lighting is calming, for instance.
  • See what adjustments in your environment you can make and take action. So, when at home you may avoid playing loud music, change light bulbs to low, warm lighting, avoid having walls painted in bright colours, and so on.
  • Avoid having a packed schedule with back-to-back meetings. Instead, allow space between appointments and give yourself enough time to get from one appointment to another.
  • Allow yourself time daily to recharge. This means taking proper breaks, spending some time alone in a quiet space, doing something calming, going for a walk, etc.
  • Say ‘no’ to work and demands on your time when you know you’re already at your limit.
  • Take up an activity which helps you relax and centre yourself. This may include yoga, meditation, mindfulness, swimming, dancing, drawing, and so on.
  • Since highly sensitive persons take on the moods and feelings of others, a practice I find useful is to imagine myself pushing back the mood or emotions of the other person, telling myself ‘This is not mine. This is her sadness…it’s not mine’. This doesn’t mean you’re cold or indifferent to the other person’s feelings. On the contrary, by not becoming overwhelmed by others’ feelings, you’re in a better position to be present and supportive.
  • If you work in a busy, open plan office, see if you can occasionally work from a meeting room or from home, therefore reducing sensory input or distractions which may be overwhelming.

To all those highly sensitive people out there, or those who have, or work with children who are highly sensitive, please remember that sensitivity is a gift to be embraced and not a curse or a weakness. With the right adjustments and support, you or your highly sensitive loved ones, can thrive.

Danjela Falzon - Malta therapy clinic

About Danjela Falzon

Danjela has been practising as a Psychotherapist since 2011, having read for a BSc in Psychology at Birkbeck, University of London, followed by a Masters in Gestalt Psychotherapy at GPTIM. She works therapeutically with individuals, adopting an approach which is warm and empathic, yet direct and challenging when necessary. She also works with groups, teaching mindfulness and providing support and guidance to reduce stress and anxiety.

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